Mine First Read online

  Em’s ringing phone was a welcome distraction. Lori took the chance and changed the subject to the safe and long-winded topic of Olly and Matt’s kids, her eyes on Em who stared at her phone but didn’t answer it.

  4

  OLLY AND MATT grinned through the back window of the cab, waving wildly as it pulled out and drove away.

  ‘They’re so cute together.’ Em looped her arm through Lori’s. ‘It’s sickening.’

  They didn’t move until the cab was out of sight, then guided each other across the road. They lived on the same street, ten houses apart, and walked home from work together most nights.

  Lori had lost count of how many glasses of wine she’d had, but her head cleared a little, the scent of food fading, replaced with crisp clean air coming down from the mountain surrounds.

  The days were getting shorter, coming into winter. It was already dark, only an orange hint of the city lights tracing the ridge that circled the town, deep navy clouds above. There’d been no real snow yet, just heavy frosts and fog in the mornings.

  Fingertips buzzing in the cold, Lori freed her arm and shoved her hands in her pockets. ‘Lena was never coming to dinner.’

  Darkness and streetlights threw strange shadows over Em. She let out a mangled sigh. ‘Nope.’

  ‘Is everything okay?’

  ‘Yeah, it’s fine.’

  Lori gave Em’s ankle a tap, tripping her up.

  Em righted herself, an eyebrow raised. ‘What the hell was that for?’

  ‘I’m gonna ankle tap you until you tell the truth.’

  ‘I don’t know, okay?’

  Lori kicked again, but Em sidestepped out of reach, staring at Lori from the other side of the footpath. ‘I swear, I don’t. She’s just been in a mood, lately. Says there’s nothing wrong but hardly talks to me.’

  ‘Anything I can do?’

  ‘We’ll be fine. We’ll sort it out.’ Em shrugged and smiled, but she didn’t sound convincing. ‘You know, if you’re gonna torture someone into talking, don’t tell them how you’re gonna do it, or at least switch it up a bit. It’s the same with sex. A little suspense can go a long way.’

  Lori laughed. That sounded more like Em.

  Their breath hung in clouds between them, scattered by streaks of misting rain. A shiver ran down Lori’s back and she walked on, hesitating as she glanced back at Em, a step behind. ‘You know, Addy’s not as bad as you think. She’s not obsessed.’

  ‘She’s crazy. Haven’t you heard the stories?’

  Lori shook her head. She hadn’t, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Not that she’d believe any of it. Addy had a tough shell and wasn’t an easy person to get to know, unless she wanted you to, which meant most people assumed more than they knew as fact.

  ‘You need to put up some boundaries with her, before something happens that you’ll regret. She may not be your student, but she is a student.’ Em kicked a pebble along the footpath. ‘She’s also been my best swimmer for the past four years, unfortunately. Who knows how we’ll go at trials next year without her.’

  An awkward silence settled. The rain turned into a flurry of white. Lori held a hand out, catching little fuzzy pieces of ice on her palm, watching their unpredictable, untraceable movements as they fell. It reminded her of the butterfly twitch that Addy’s fingertips sent through her.

  She glanced over and saw Em staring at her. The lights of a passing car lit the side of her face, giving a glimpse of her wary eye, and then sank them back into darkness. ‘Plans for the weekend?’

  ‘Marking papers. You?’

  ‘Training plans and competition schedules.’ Em sighed a laugh. ‘God, when did we get so boring?’

  ‘Maybe you should take Lena out. Spend the day, have some fun.’

  The corner of Em’s mouth twitched, a small nod all she could muster. Something was clearly bothering her. Surely Em was right; it was nothing, they’d work it out. They had to. Because if Em and Lena failed, then Lori couldn’t see hope for herself finding any kind of relationship worth having. Lori let it drop though, too tired, and still a little annoyed by the comments made at dinner. Anyway, Em would talk in her own time, on her own terms.

  They reached the spot where they went their opposite ways. Em was half turned, staring away along the row of houses. ‘Hey, so… a bunch of us have been running the mountain trails over on Southie. Wanna give it a go?’

  Lori didn’t want to. Running a mountain was definitely not on her list of fun things to do in her small amount of spare time. But Emmie had asked, so… ‘Sure, when?’

  ‘Tomorrow morning. Eight. I’ll swing round and pick you up. Sleep tight.’ Em gave a tired smile before she walked off, headed for home.

  The moon was now high above the mountains, bright between the clouds and lighting her way. Lori unlocked her front door, stomped up the stairs, peeling away the layers of the day and climbing into bed.

  5

  DESPITE THE BLANKET of cloud overnight, the morning was icy. The cold bit at Lori’s nose, curled around her neck and nipped at her ankles. She hadn’t dressed for it to be this cold and was missing the warm bed Em had dragged her from, thinking of the warm pool she could be floating in instead.

  Yawning, eyes half closed and watering, she scanned the group scattered around the carpark. Most were university staff, but there were a few faces she didn’t recognise. They were all bright and bouncy and smiling and ready to go. Lori couldn’t help but hate them all just a little.

  She landed on Em’s face and wondered how she wasn’t hungover. She hadn’t kept count, but knew they’d at least kept pace with each other at dinner. And right now she was paying for it with a headache that echoed all the way down into her uneasy stomach.

  But Em just smiled, pointing a finger at Lori’s shoe. She looked down. Her shoelace was untied, and she had two different socks on. That’s what happened when you dress still half asleep and in the dark, but she had to admit it was less embarrassing than two different shoes.

  Lori crouched to fix her lace, glancing up at the crunch of gravel as a familiar car peaked up over the slope and pulled in to a parking spot.

  ‘Shit. Just what I needed.’

  Em’s feet turned towards her. ‘What?’

  Lori looked up at Em towering over her and then nodded towards the car. Josie DeLuca climbed out. She grabbed a jacket from the backseat and put it on, locking the car with a flash of lights as she walked over.

  ‘Oh, yeah. Josie’s in the group. Didn’t I tell you?’

  ‘Thanks for the warning.’ Eyes glued to Josie and not the task at hand, Lori had somehow tied her finger into her lace and almost tripped herself over trying to stand up. Em held out a helping hand, not even trying to hide the big grin on her face. With a sigh, Lori yanked her finger free, fixed the lace and pushed herself up off the ground, swatting Em’s hand away.

  ‘You can’t tell me you don’t find her attractive.’

  Em had whispered right into her ear and Lori rubbed away the weird vibrating sensation. ‘She’s… yes. But that’s not—’ Lori clamped her mouth shut as Josie stepped into the group, a quick smile of hello passing between them. Curious, Lori studied the way Josie smiled and nodded to a few other people, noticing the way she stepped up and untwisted the hood on Em’s jacket.

  Someone called out for everyone’s attention. ‘Partner up and let’s go.’

  Josie turned to Em, checking more than asking, and Em shrugged an apology at Lori. ‘We always run together.’ Then she was waving someone over. ‘But Marina knows the path well. You’ll be in good hands.’

  Marina joined the group and Em introduced them. Lori saw straight through it. A blatant set-up if she’d ever been part of one. Now at the head of the group, Em and Josie started for the trail. Marina noticed Lori’s apprehension. ‘First trail run?’

  Lori nodded.

  ‘Okay, so we usually walk for a few minutes first, get warm and then pick up the pace whenever we’re ready.’ Marina was alread
y moving, pulling Lori along with a smile that took over and controlled her feet, jogging to catch up.

  6

  THE TRACK STARTED off thin, lined by pine trees, opening up further along where fallen rocks had forged a natural path. It was shady; the forest packed close together in parts. It was quiet too, only the scrunching of boots and runners on the gravel trail, the thumps of little clumps of ice and snow falling off branches, the occasional animal startled into retreat.

  ‘So what’s with the partner thing?’

  ‘Safety, mostly. In case someone gets hurt or lost. Easy to get left behind.’

  ‘Right. Of course…’ Lori was concentrating on the uneven ground and didn’t notice the low branch until the crown of her head brushed against the heavy leaves. Drops of ice cold water soaked through her hair, running down her neck and back, forcing a violent full-body shiver.

  ‘Wishing you hadn’t left the house?’

  Lori wiped her neck with her sleeve. ‘A little, yeah.’

  ‘Same. There was a Gabor sisters’ movie marathon starting when I left.’

  ‘Queen of Outer Space?’

  ‘And Aristocats. 3 Ring Circus. A couple others. They’re even playing Mad Magician.’

  ‘For Eva’s entrance.’

  ‘Exactly.’ Marina sounded surprised. The path blurred under the cover of leaf litter as she guided Lori to the left. ‘You know, I’ve never figured out what it is about that scene that makes it stand out.’

  ‘It’s the way she speaks. The way she pauses and looks at Gallico after he says hello. There’s no rush. The whole tempo of the scene slows because of her—’ Lori noticed Marina staring at her. ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing. Just, no one’s ever had an answer that makes sense.’

  ‘It’s weird, I know, but I must have watched it twenty times over…’

  ‘Not weird at all…’

  They walked on, surrounded by the rustle of birds taking flight at the sound of their voices. It wasn’t until they reached the lookout point that they realised they’d walked nearly half the trail, so caught up talking that they had forgotten to run.

  Marina climbed the carved steps up to the viewing platform. ‘All the times we’ve run this trail, I can’t believe I’ve never gone up here. I was always too caught up on beating my last time or keeping up with someone else.’

  Lori paused on the middle step. ‘Sorry. You didn’t come out in the cold to walk and talk about old movies.’

  ‘Worth it though, for this.’

  They’d walked all the way around to the other side of the mountain. The rock platform looked out over the rolling mountain range below that stretched away and into the horizon. A dirty blue haze hung low, skipping across the peaks, only their faint outlines visible. Vast and silent. There wasn’t even a hint of the town nestled on the other side of the mountain.

  They stood, taking it all in until the cold started creeping in.

  ‘Should we get moving, see if we can catch up?’

  Marina took the lead, building up to a steady jog. Lori did her best to keep up, surprising herself and enjoying the challenge of searching for the right placement of each step. The path widened into a groomed fire trail and Marina dropped back beside Lori, egging her on. ‘Race you to the end?’

  They sprinted the last hundred metres, elbow to elbow, and burst out of the trees. Em sat bundled up in a slant of sunshine, waiting in the almost empty carpark. Everyone else had already left.

  Marina pulled up when Lori bent over, hands on her knees and her lungs burning. She couldn’t speak, trying to catch her breath. Her legs were like jelly, and she was sure they would buckle if she took another step.

  Em slid off the picnic table, calling across the carpark, ‘Thought maybe you’d fallen off the mountain.’

  ‘Lost track of time.’ Lori managed to yell back, cringing at the long and awkward silence of Em staring at them.

  Marina broke the moment, checking her phone. ‘Speaking of, could probably get home in time for Mad Magician. See you next week?’

  ‘Yeah, sure.’

  ‘Great.’

  ‘Great.’ Lori felt a little self-conscious under Em’s steady gaze as they reached Marina’s car, saying goodbye. She waited for Marina to drive off and then turned to Em. ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing.’ Em grinned back at her over the roof of the car.

  7

  LUGGING ANOTHER HUGE striped bag out of the storeroom, down the corridor and into the hall seemed like an insurmountable task. Lori was moving like she was twice her age and beyond frail, having woken up with her legs so sore and stiff, not used to the impact of running.

  ‘Why’re you walking funny?’ Addy was blocking the doorway.

  Lori considered her for a moment before answering, a little confused, a little wary. ‘Ran one of the Southie trails yesterday. Well, half of one.’

  ‘You take one end, I’ll take the other.’ Addy grabbed a corner of the bag, waiting for Lori to take hers. ‘My family used to hike the mountains when I was a kid. Know that place up and down. No one would’ve been crazy enough to run any of those trails back then.’

  ‘Back then? What, last week?’ Lori laughed, picking up her end.

  ‘You’re hilarious.’ Addy adjusted her grip, the thick plastic making an ominous ripping sound deep in the bag. They started the awkward shuffle, shins batting into the side of the bag with each step. ‘What the hell is in this?’

  ‘Beanies, gloves, socks, jumpers.’

  ‘How are they so heavy?’

  About to lose her grip, Lori put her end down. ‘What’re you doing here, Addy?’

  ‘You mentioned it in class. I was curious about… whatever this is.’

  They tried again and made it to the end of the corridor, almost tearing the bag on the brick that held open the swinging doors into the hall. Inside, students and volunteers were working to get the place ready; the snap of folding tables being put up, kids in hoodies sorting through and unpacking the striped bags, a kitchen trolley at the side door, unloading silver trays of food.

  It looked like the beginnings of any other university event. Except for the people starting to wander in, mostly teenagers, underdressed for the turning weather, hollow-cheeked and stick-thin.

  ‘It’s kind of like a clinic.’

  ‘For what?’

  ‘Kids that are kicked out or had to leave home, families in need, whoever needs a little extra help. It’s something the uni has been letting us trial over the year. Every Sunday we open up the hall, provide a hot meal. Collect and give out food, clothing, medical aid, whatever else they need, whatever else we can do. It’s not much but…’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Don’t sound so disappointed.’

  ‘No, I’m not. I’m just… surprised. So, what’s the project?’

  ‘My students are putting a book together. Profiles and portraits, drawings, photos, stories, letters, anything the kids wanna put in. Once it’s done, we’ll sell as many copies as we can and any money we make goes to shelter and food and clothes and education.’

  Addy was quiet for a moment, thumbnail hooked underneath her top teeth as she looked around the room. ‘What can I do?’

  Lori was taken aback. ‘Well. You could find a group to join. Pass out some clothes, food, whatever you feel comfortable doing.’

  Expecting Addy to sneak away, it surprised Lori even more to look up a few hours later and see that she was working alongside Jeremy, the shy student in her Friday afternoon class. He usually worked alone, wandering the hall, taking photos or collecting bits and pieces for the project.

  Addy was talking with a young boy while Jeremy took photos and made notes. She was being nice to the kid, to Jeremy, the others, smiling, laughing, no sarcasm or rubbing anyone the wrong way. Lori watched the pair as they moved around the room, but soon lost track of them when her attention was caught by a volunteer who waved her over to a lady by the medical tent.

  8

  ALONE IN THE quiet
storeroom, Lori hopped up and sat on the bench that ran the length of the room, grateful to rest her legs for a few minutes. The photocopier whirred beside her, spitting out pieces of paper, a black-and-white photo of a young face beaming up at her.

  The lady by the medical tent was a mother who had come into the hall looking for her son, last seen hanging around the uni campus. Lori hadn’t seen him, but promised to put copies of her flyer up around the campus, see if anyone recognised or knew him.

  The stuttering of the photocopier must have hidden her approaching footsteps because Lori didn't notice Addy until she was slumping into the broken desk chair with a wheel missing and no back, leaning forward to pull a flyer off the growing pile. ‘What're you doing back here?’

  ‘Have you seen him around?’

  Addy stared down at the grainy photo, traced a fingertip down the side of his face. ‘No.’

  ‘I never know whether to be happy or sad when someone comes looking. Runaways are harder than throwaways. Most times they don’t want to be found.’

  Addy stared at the photo a little longer. ‘Sad. I think I’d be sad.’ She put the flyer back in the pile as another copy stuttered out of the printer. ‘Throwaways?’

  ‘The kids that are kicked out. Unwanted, not welcome.’

  Addy was silent for a minute. ‘This whole thing… It means a lot to you.’ She stood and slid up onto the bench next to Lori, as close as they could get without touching. ‘Why?’

  Lori stared down at Addy’s feet, swinging beside her own. Em had warned her, told her to put up some boundaries. Maybe she was right. Addy was getting too close, and Lori was letting her. Plus, her own story wasn’t one she shared easily.

  ‘Someone looking for you.’ They were mumbled words, hurried. Lori looked up at a rustle of movement, catching a glint of fluorescent light off the camera hanging from Jeremy’s neck as he turned and left.